If we reframe the question and ask whether it is acceptable for a man in a committed relationship to seek visual pleasure from women other than his partner, many would immediately (and rightfully) say no. The situation is not fundamentally different when applied to women. At its core, it’s still about seeking sexual or flirtatious pleasure outside the relationship.

Below is a common counterargument and its rebuttal.

When a man takes pleasure in looking at other women, he is focusing on specific individuals. In contrast, a woman who wears revealing clothing in public does not even know who will see her when she steps out.

Rebuttal: This argument holds if the man is focused on one or a few specific women. But what if he visits a sexually charged setting—like a beach—just to enjoy strangers' appearances, without knowing in advance whom he will encounter?

In relationships where both partners consciously choose to reserve all forms of sexual pleasure—whether mild, such as visual enjoyment, or intense, involving touch and intimacy—exclusively for each other, they may forgo certain short-term pleasures. However, this decision often fosters a deeper, more enduring sense of intimacy and meaning. It becomes a powerful expression of devotion that transcends fleeting satisfaction.

Some argue that if a man is comfortable with his partner expressing her feminine charms, his "selflessness" actually deepens the relationship. However, to see why this counterargument may not hold, consider flipping the scenario: Would it truly deepen a relationship if a woman expressed consent to her partner deriving pleasure from other women—even if it's only visual?